Almost Perfect
by hitsujion
Summary: After Jake's death, Barnaby and Kotetsu's relationship was almost perfect. But sometimes, Kotetsu would wake up in the night and grab onto Barnaby like a frightened child, and Barnaby knew that something was wrong.


After Jake's death, Barnaby and Kotetsu's relationship was almost perfect. There had never been any big confession between the two of them; they were one of those things that just kind of happened as if they were completely natural and inevitable, and before they knew it they were almost always together. It started out as simply visiting the other's home after a long day at work. They would talk about their day and Kotetsu would make dumb jokes and sometimes Barnaby would even laugh along. Not because they were funny, but because he was happy.

Soon enough they had sex, and it was awkward and comforting and wonderful and Barnaby had never felt so complete. Their nights together became routine and they would hold one another afterwards, not needing to say anything, just letting the other relax and let go after a day in the spotlight. It was absolutely almost perfect.

Sometimes, Kotetsu would wake up in the middle of the night and almost lunge forward, pulling Barnaby in closer and breathing in his scent and trying desperately to catch his breath. Barnaby could tell that something was wrong but he never knew what to say, or if he should say anything at all, so he would just return the man's embrace and hope that everything would be alright. It always was, in the morning, and neither one ever mentioned it to the other. Kotetsu would go period of time where he was able to sleep soundly at night, and Barnaby would smile when he woke up and saw that Kotetsu was still lying peacefully beside him. But then the fits would start again, and Kotetsu would have nights where he was almost screaming as he woke, his body covered in sweat and tears in his eyes and finally Barnaby said something.

"Kotetsu," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Kotetsu. Kotetsu, it's okay, I'm… I'm here."

The older man let out a broken gasp, holding onto Barnaby so tightly that it was almost painful. Neither one moved for a while.

"I don't want you to leave," Kotetsu said finally. His words were barely audible. "I don't want you to leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere, Kotetsu. I promise."

"But I can't know that. I never thought that Tomoe would leave but she did. I know that it wasn't her fault, but she was breathing and alive and then the next thing I knew, she was gone."

Barnaby leaned forward so that their lips were barely brushing, reaching a hand up to stroke Kotetsu's hair as gently as he could, though his fingers trembled.

"I'm here with you, Kotetsu," he whispered. "Everything is okay. Everything will be okay."

"I miss her so much sometimes. I don't ever want to miss you too, like that. Bunny. Barnaby. I love you."

They had never spoken those three words to one another before. It had seemed a given, but now that they had been said, they somehow seemed so essential. Barnaby pressed their lips together, tenderly, and nodded slightly.

"I love you, Kotetsu," he said. "I love you. We're partners and I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here with you, alive and well, and I love you."

Kotetsu almost smiled, his hold on Barnaby relaxing slightly. Barnaby kissed him again.

"I'm sorry," Kotetsu said quietly.

"For what?"

Kotetsu laughed bitterly and said, "For this."

"Don't be. You can trust me, right?"

"Yeah. I can. I trust you."

Neither one fell back asleep that night. Instead, they continued holding one another, neither one saying anything more. Morning came and they were both worn out and tired, but that was alright. A few nights later, Kotetsu's eyes slowly opened, his arms reaching out instinctively and his breathing shallow and Barnaby was right there. He wasn't going anywhere. Tomoe was gone but Barnaby was here now, and Kotetsu might never stop waking up at night, his fingertips itching to hold on to Barnaby and just confirm that he was still there with him, but that was okay.

Because they were partners, and Kotetsu wouldn't let Barnaby go without a fight.


End file.
